Monday, October 30, 2006

PREGNANCY Q & A

PREGNANCY

Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

**thanks uncle Larry .....and yes that is a pregnant Barbie**

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jay
So who knocked up Barbie? ...and don't even try to tell me it was Ken. I had a Ken and like 8 Barbies. They were always naked and lived in a pile on the floor of my closet. With that many naked women on top of him and that much privacy in my closet, something should have happened. But alas, I never had a pregnant Barbie. I know the women had hair pulling fights over him. I had to untangle hair adn arms every time I wanted to play. To think that they jepordized their friendships over a man who doesn't even like women. How many times does that happen a day in America? You know that Ken is actually the one who coined the phrase "coming out of the closet." Makes sense now huh? So... my guess is that GI Joe is the baby's daddy.
"Real American hero...GI Joe is there. GI JOE!
Go JOE!"
Lynn

Disclaimer - The intent of this story was to ponder a pregnacy. I was in no way trying to suggest that gay people are not american heros or that they should not be in the military.

...j... said...

hahaha!!!

 
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